Health and Safety

With D-Day looming, I’m doing a few last bits of administration:





The first job is to pull together all of the necessary documentation: Passport, driving licence, etc. Oh and I ought to spell check “beqweath” because I’m anxious that my collection of stuffed animals lives on after I, myself, have been stuffed by a horny hippo.

Also as you can see, I’m just about to start my course of special anti malarial tablets. I got them cheap off eBay and the man reckons they’ll also cover me for Yellow Fever, Hep B and sort out my Hyperemesis Gravidarum. [Don’t worry – he’s only put them in a Smarties tube to get round the 1968 Medicines Act but I’m assured that they are 100% pukka.]. Apparently, the purple ones are extra special and will greatly increase my manhood........which is nice because let’s face it, it has been a source of disappointment for some time.