Whoops

Well that wasn't a clever thing to do just before setting off. My chances of out running a hippo have just diminished considerably thanks to this little knock I picked up at North London TKD yesterday. Not broken but it smarts a bit. And I can't think it's going to like being stuffed into motorcycle boots for 2 weeks. Still, it is a pleasing colour. 

Health and Safety

With D-Day looming, I’m doing a few last bits of administration:





The first job is to pull together all of the necessary documentation: Passport, driving licence, etc. Oh and I ought to spell check “beqweath” because I’m anxious that my collection of stuffed animals lives on after I, myself, have been stuffed by a horny hippo.

Also as you can see, I’m just about to start my course of special anti malarial tablets. I got them cheap off eBay and the man reckons they’ll also cover me for Yellow Fever, Hep B and sort out my Hyperemesis Gravidarum. [Don’t worry – he’s only put them in a Smarties tube to get round the 1968 Medicines Act but I’m assured that they are 100% pukka.]. Apparently, the purple ones are extra special and will greatly increase my manhood........which is nice because let’s face it, it has been a source of disappointment for some time.

To answer some questions....

Some people have expressed surprise that I’ll be travelling on my own.

Well, the alternative isn’t always better....

  

“But Chris”, I hear you ask, “What if you get attacked by 400lbs of sexually frustrated lion?”  

So here’s a picture of a very mad but very brave “lion whisperer“ showing you how to deal with exactly this eventuality

 

 

In fact, I’ve been practising the technique on my neighbours’ ginger Tom with a fair degree of success......

 

Packing Practice Prevents Pachyderm Penetration

With a little over 3 weeks until my flight, I thought I should start thinking about packing - Ewan and Charlie made such a fuss over what to take but really it’s a piece of p1ss:



(Note: Blogger needs a Rotate Image facility)

• Credit card
• Toothbrush
• Map
• Spare pants
• Jackie Collins for the flight 

Mind you I’m not sure about the toothpaste me Nan lent me – very peculiar taste. Still with it being rutting season for hippos, it may prove useful

Quo Vadis?

Hopefully Uganda, Rwanda and Tanzania

The plan is to fly into Kampala, Uganda and spend a day sorting out the bike and documentation. After the aborted attempt to ride around Uganda earlier this year, I have arranged to hire a Kawasaki KLR 650 from a very nice ex-pat, more of whom later.

Once fuelled and ready for take off, I should then ride off to Fort Portal, in western Uganda. After that it should be south-ish to Rwanda where the detailed planning starts to unravel a little